Every Yes Is a Promise
(The Sacred No — and the even holier Yes)
The holidays come with a lot of noise. Invitations, obligations, expectations, logistics, traditions, casseroles — all of it wrapped in a bow and handed to you with a cheery, “You’re coming, right?”
It’s the season where “sure, I can do that” spills out of our mouths out of habit. But here’s the truth I keep coming back to: Every yes is a promise. And I want my promises to mean something.
Not to everyone. Not to everything. Just to the people and the priorities that truly matter.
The power of an intentional yes
This isn’t a post about saying no (though we’ll get there). It’s about protecting your yeses so they stay powerful.
A yes is not a polite shrug.
A yes is a commitment of:
time
energy
presence
emotional bandwidth
future-you’s peace
A yes means, “I’m showing up with my whole self.” So of course it makes sense that we can’t say yes to everything — we’re not infinite beings swirling with endless capacity. (If only.)
But we can say yes with intention, and lead our lives from that place.
A leadership truth I have learned (the hard way)
A few weeks ago, I missed out on Thanksgiving because I got sick. Calling my best friend — the one I’ve had since seventh grade — to cancel was heartbreaking for both of us.
It was supposed to be a cozy, intentional, deeply meaningful yes. And life handed me a sacred no I didn’t want.
Even though I hated disappointing her (and myself!)… it clarified something. My yes to her mattered because it was real. Because it was heartfelt. Because it wasn’t performative or pressured — it was chosen.
Which means my no, even the unplanned, unwanted one, came from a place of honesty and care, not avoidance.
That’s when it clicked. I don’t want to offer yeses I can’t actually honor.
Especially during the holidays — the busiest, most emotional, most expectation-heavy time of the year.
A yes I don’t mean isn’t generosity. It’s resentment getting all dolled up and headed your way.
But a yes I do mean? That’s love. That’s presence. That’s leadership.
The Sacred No (but make it gentle)
Here’s the good news: When you treat your yes as sacred, your no becomes supportive, kind, and honest — not harsh.
A sacred no sounds like:
“I’d love to, but I don’t have the capacity this month.”
“Thank you for thinking of me. I can’t make it, but I’m cheering you on.”
“That doesn’t work for me this season, but I hope you have the best time.”
“I need rest more than I need plans — maybe in the new year?”
A sacred no isn’t rejection. It a gentle way to signal where you actually want it to go.
Protect the yes, protect the peace
Imagine if every yes you offered this month was one you felt proud of.
Imagine if your energy went to the people and moments that fill you instead of drain you.
Imagine if you didn’t dread December because you were trying to bend yourself into the shape of someone with thirty hours in a day and zero emotional needs.
That’s what the Sacred No — and the even holier Yes — makes possible.
Take a minute, breathe deeply, and answer this:
“What yeses do I want to honor this month — and what needs to be a sacred no so that those yeses stay meaningful?”
Then try one tiny real-world action: Choose one intentional, wholehearted yes and let it anchor your week.
