When I Finally Lit the Candles

I’ve always been a candle person—or at least, a candle collector.
Some were gifts. Some were impulse buys. Some were bulk orders of my friend’s handmade creations (because once you fall in love with a scent, you need backups).

But here’s the truth: I didn’t often light them.
I displayed them. Hoarded them. Admired them.
(What kind of witch doesn’t light her candles?)

It wasn’t until my mom was on hospice that I really began to tap into their power.

I started lighting them so she would know which way was up.

So she could feel me saying, Mom, I know what’s happening, and I want to ease your way. My sister joined in—bringing lavender and bergamot, tall candles and small. We had one burning almost constantly while we sat at her side, while death doulas visited, while we held her hand.

Now, back in my little apartment, I’ve started trying to light candles more often. But maybe because the context had changed so dramatically, I was initially lighting my candles just to light them.

Until last week.

I don’t know what changed, really. Maybe it was because Moon & Vine’s Sweet Cedar is my favorite (and sadly discontinued) scent—it reminds me of an old boyfriend’s cologne, go figure. I picked up my candle, struck a match, and—without planning it—said out loud: I light this candle with the intention of filling this space with love.

And let me tell you: that wick went up like it had been dipped in kerosene. Brighter, higher, bolder than ever before. (Sure, maybe I forgot to trim the wick. But maybe—just maybe—I’m finally coming into my power. Maybe my ancestors heard me and added their fire to mine.)

I laughed so hard I texted the candlemaker, who sweetly sent back some safety tips.

But I also realized something: Anything we do with intention—whether it’s lighting a candle, making a decision, or showing up in our work—burns brighter. It’s more pleasant. More effective. More alive.

Try This

Next time you do something boringly normal—start your day, power through your to-do’s, household chores—turn it into a ritual. Set an intention. Say it out loud.

• I pour this coffee to give myself energy, not just a caffeine buzz.

• I write this email to be clear, not clever.

• I fold this laundry because naked and wrinkled is not the vibe today.

Do it once and see what happens. Worst case? You get caffeine, clean clothes, or a crossed-off to-do list. Best case? The whole room shifts. The flame burns higher. You feel a little more lit up, too.

I’m still practicing this myself. And I’m writing about it, too—because intention, presence, and power are woven through every chapter of the book I’m writing for us.

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