How to Align Your Life with Your Values
Ever find yourself saying yes to something and instantly regretting it?
Or looking around at your calendar, your home, even your relationships and wondering, Wait… when did I agree to all of this?
That’s often a sign you’re living out of alignment with your values.
When we move through life on autopilot—saying yes out of obligation, staying quiet to keep the peace, doing what we think we should—we slowly drift away from the life we actually want. And often? We don’t even notice until we’re exhausted.
But there’s a better way.
You can start making decisions that feel like you again. It begins with knowing what matters most.
What are values, really?
Your values are your inner compass. They’re not goals or to-dos. They’re the deep, guiding principles that help you decide how to spend your time, where to put your energy, and what kind of life actually feels good—not just “looks good on paper.”
When you’re clear on your values, everything else starts to shift.
You:
Set boundaries more easily
Recognize what drains vs. nourishes you
Say yes (and no) with confidence
Begin to build a life that fits you—not what others expect
A quiet hour that changed everything
Years ago, I was between jobs and unsure what was next. I had the great fortune of meeting with a therapist trained in ACT—Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. (Highly recommend finding one if you're feeling stuck!) One of the things we did together was a values inventory—an exercise that took nearly an hour.
It wasn’t dramatic.
There was no lightning bolt.
Just a quiet unfolding.
Through that process, I discovered that my top three values are freedom, intellect, and connection.
And even now, years later, I use those words to guide my daily choices:
Do I want to join another committee at work, even though my calendar is already a disaster?
→ No. I value freedom—I need margin in my week, not more meetings and obligations.Do I want to spend the afternoon on a Zoom with my sister, even though I had planned to catch up on laundry?
→ Yes. I value connection—this conversation will fill me up in ways folded clothes never could.Do I want to binge-watch TNG or finally dig into that Brené Brown book I keep side-eyeing?
→ The show is tempting, but I’ll reach for the book. I value intellect, and engaging with big ideas helps me feel more like myself.
It doesn’t have to be earth-shattering. Just honest. And intentional.
Want to find your own?
I made a free Values Inventory to help you figure out what you value most—not what society says you should, not what your mom told you was important, but your truth.
Inside, you’ll find:
A big list of values across all areas of life (not just work)
A simple method to narrow them down
Reflection prompts to help you put them into practice
A gut-check tool to help you make aligned choices moving forward
Click here to download the Values Inventory.
Start with a small shift
You don’t have to change your whole life overnight.
Just start with one small question:
What’s one tiny shift I could make this week to live more in line with my values?
Is it saying no without apologizing?
Is it texting the friend you’ve been meaning to check in with?
Is it putting your phone away during dinner so you can really be there?
This is the kind of shift that builds a life that fits you.
One choice at a time.
Want to go deeper?
This is exactly what we explore in 1:1 coaching—what it means to live in alignment with your values, your purpose, and your whole messy-beautiful life.
Start with the free Values Inventory—a simple, powerful tool to help you come home to yourself. Download it + join the monthly newsletter.
Try it out, then tell me:
What are your top values?
Which one do you want to honor more this week?
I’d love to hear what’s coming up for you.
Let’s keep the conversation going.
